State of your country

“Where’s that?”

“So, since you’re German, may I ask if Germany is as bad since that 2015 Merkel thing as it’s on our news in Australia?”

“No, it’s still really nice, but like a steak, well done.”

“Oh. That’s sad to hear. But you could come to Australia, we don’t have the worst things!”

“Australia is an authoritarian nanny state, cigarettes are like $20 a pack, and the only thing you’ve going for Australia is reasonable immigration laws, which essentially make it difficult for me to simply go there.”

“…” “…” “… that’s actually true. So where would you go?”

“Cyprus.”

“It’s a picturesque island in the Med.”

“But then, why not Japan? Don’t you like it here? It’s also a beautiful island.”

“Sure it is, but they also have reasonable immigration laws. Plus, I already speak some Turkish.”

“Isn’t that Mediterranean island Greek?”

“Well, so say the Greek. 40.000 Turkish soldiers don’t think so.”

“Oh, is that like Korea with the border, and a demilitarized zone and landmines and stuff?”

“Essentially and officially, yes, but really, nobody gives a fuck. The soldiers are usually drunk on one side and sleeping in the other, and if you show a passport to the only two sober and awake people, you can just walk over.”

“Interesting. But then, you should give Australia a try; we’re from Perth, that’s a long way from the government.

Nationalstolz. So gar nicht Deutsch.