Weathering a Stormy [nsfw]

There are things I really don’t know how to come to terms with. For example, the Stormy Daniels “affair” surrounding Donald Trump, involving a porn actress with that stage name. As I deeply respect women, I’ll refer to her by her real name, Stephanie Clifford.

Until this morning, I never doubted that Donald “grab them by the pussy” Trump has had sex with a young pornstar. I just wondered why he didn’t brag about it.

(Illustration: Miss Clifford with cum in face)

Then, though, Miss Clifford wrote this:

This really made me think. Because there are two viable interpretations to this tweet: Either she is proud of being (1) a bestselling author, (2) a skank, and (3) a whore, or this is an attempt at sarcasm of a worthless “modern” slut.

So, let’s fact-check:

That doesn’t look like a 7 to me. Plus, amazon.com lists her as #852, making it very unlikely this is not just the media – the lying New York Times, as Trump would put it, pushing a(nother anti-Trump) narrative.


(Illustration: Pushing a dick into Ms. Clifford)

Boiled down, this whole affair is a credibility issue. The media frenzy is all about whether if she actually is a whore. A whore would be a woman having sex with people for money. So, we all know that she got $130.000 from Trump, so the money part is a fact; the sex part is the questionable thing.

The problem that remains is: is she really a whore (which is a respectable profession, by the way), or just an attention whore, which is quite seasonable nowadays (see: the female child molester that started #metoo)?

Trumps statement on this is that the allegations of having had sex with Ms. Clifford are “absolutely, unequivocally” false.

So, lets summarize the facts up to now:

  1. Ms. Clifford is a porn actress, the least respectable thing you can do in any society – apart from being a journalist, that is; both are things that will hunt you forever
  2. Ms. Clifford considered becoming a journalist.
  3. The press hates Donald Trump. This same press is the only source for her being a bestselling author; reality (as in “Amazon”) doesn’t confirm that.
  4. “Her” book lists Kevin Carr O’Leary as an author, who happens to be a celebrity ghostwriter. This makes her claim of “I am” basically false.
  5. The only source for her being a whore is herself, which, to make that worse, may be an attempt at ridicule.
  6. She is also not an honest person; see #4

I don’t want to jump to conclusions, this is still an undecided situation between the word of a woman in a despicable profession with stated intent to go into an even more despicable profession against the word of the President of the United States – which, in general, are despicable people, too.

The decision we still have to make is if she is what she says – a whore, a skank, and a bestselling author. She obviosly isn’t the third, so our reasoning will have to be based on whether she’s a skank or just a lying slut / attention whore. A skank is defined as:

female, implying trashiness or tackiness, lower-class status, poor hygiene, flakiness, and a scrawny, pockmarked sort of ugliness. May also imply promiscuity, but not necessarily. Can apply to any race, but most commonly used to describe white trash.

This is very divisive – she’s quite obviously white trash, but everything else doesn’t really apply. Makes me doubt she’s a skank, though.

So, let’s check how she fits to the definition of “slut”:

Slut is a derogatory term to describe a woman that is sleazy and will have sex will anyone or sometimes anything. … Most do it for attention because they are so pathetic that they can’t get noticed in any other way

Sounds fitting, doesn’t it? 

Plus, I’d like to call into evidence this sad attempt at a blowjob:

(Illustration: Ms. Clifford cheating at deepthroating)

I can’t speak for others, of course, but that’s a handjob a $10 crack whore will sell you as a blowjob. Or, in this case, an $130.000 attention whore.

But please, dear reader, come to your own conclusions. Just consider if you believe that even the ghostwriter of Trumps “Art of the Deal”, Tony Schwartz, would pay that much money for that sad kind of sex.


Disclaimer: The depicted scenes from “Nymphos”, copyright by Wicked Pictures, and “Stormy’s Secret”, copyright by Brazzers, are used in accordance with the fair use principles stated in 17 U.S.C. §107.
On a personal note, I would like to claim damages in excess of $130.000 for having to watch an hour of really, really bad, boring vanilla porn.

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